Lose Control
by Hades'Queen
Summary: Severus is married and has decided to come and teach at Hogwarts, but something of his very recent past and of a far more distant past is haunting him at Hogwarts. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: **Clearly I don't own anything other then the plotline of the story and even that is based on a song by Evanescence called "Lose Control".

**Authors Note:** This is a one-shot and it is a Snape/Sinistra story that is perhaps going to be a little darker then the other stories I've written for this pairing. Story takes place when Severus Snape just starts teaching at Hogwarts.

**Summary: **Severus is married and has decided to come and teach at Hogwarts, but something of his very recent past and of a far more distant past is haunting him at Hogwarts.

**Lose Control**

_You don't remember my name_

_I don't really care_

Severus slowly turned around and stared at the black eyes that were staring at him, like staring into an abyss and having the abyss stare into you, it was a very eerie feeling. "You don't remember me do you?" he heard her say, her voice carrying across the Great Hall to where he stood; the Great Hall was lit with the light of the stars in the enchanted ceiling. She smirked as she stared at him. "I don't really care that you don't, there was never anything there that we particularly cared for."

Severus stared at the teacher whom he had met for the first time when he came to teach at Hogwarts a couple of weeks ago. She was a tall thin teacher, who had all her black hair tied in a tight bun and dark makeup on her eyes, giving her an appearance of overwhelming darkness. There seemed something very familiar in the quiet solitude of the astronomy teacher, Tara Sinistra.

"Polaris? You were the North Star of the Dark Lord, his star gazer," he said as he suddenly realized why there seemed to be something so familiar about her. He'd met her a few times before, but at the time she was more beautiful then she looked now and wore much less and always had her black hair loose, falling in lose curls. Her special job was to gaze at the stars and like a North Star, point out what direction the Dark Lord should take. She was his Jewel and nothing and no one could touch her. Anyone who did was sentenced to a very long torture and a very slow death and as such she was the most desirable creature to exist.

_Can we play the game your way?_

_Can I really lose control?_

Tara felt herself smirk as she thought back to days that she served the Dark Lord. Despite the fact that her appearance had been so wild and sensual, she was very uptight. She never had any fun and she was constantly on guard whenever the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters surrounded her, however, Severus had set her free. With the little games that were a danger to their lives, he allowed for her to finally lose control.

"I am not the Dark Lord's Polaris anymore, and nor shall I ever be again," she said as she walked closer to Severus. Watched her warily, recognizing the predator like gaze that she was giving him. For a long time, he'd thought that he was the dark one and that she was the pure spirit in her coquet ness but as time went on he came to realize that her dark side made him appear like snow. "What I am interested in knowing is how you have wound up here, beneath the wing of Professor Dumbledore."

"I could ask you the very same thing," he said as he stared at her. She smirked as she looked at him and walked around him, the way that a hawk circles its prey before diving in snapping it up in its beak. It had been so long since they had last played with each other and her disappearance had been so abrupt that she hadn't given anything much thought.

"I did not run to the refuge of Albus Dumbledore as you did, Severus Snape. You think that the stars do not whisper mundane secrets like weddings and marriages?" she asked as she circled him, she had found out that he'd married and she didn't really care as she thought that it was sweet that he'd found true love. However, she was bitter about the fact that she had found no such thing. "I did not run to Dumbledore, Dumbledore ran to me."

_Just once in my life_

_I think it'd be nice_

_Just to lose control- just once_

_With all the pretty flowers in the dust_

Severus watched as she walked around him and thought about what she said and remembered back to the first time that he'd come to her. He was seeking direction in his life and he'd come running to her. She had been sitting in a dark room covered with dust and staring up at the skies. He was shaken and beaten and perhaps it was out of pity, she had pulled him close and held him and he'd lit her with the passions of his anger.

He roughly forced himself on her, tasting her skin, her lips; clasping onto her hair and ripping off her clothes. She protested and tried to fight him off, but he was too strong and after drawing blood from her lips as he bit down on them she seemed to lose herself in the violence of their passions; the roughness of his touch, the ferociousness of his mouth and the viciousness in his thrusts.

"Somehow I doubt that is so," he said as he stared forward. She smiled and walked up behind him, running her hand through his hair, moving it to one side as she walked to stand before him and stare up into his eyes, her eyes gleaming with the passion that made his knees weak and his loyalty falter.

"You ran to me," she said as she reminded him. He shook his head, grabbed her hands in his and pushed her away. He was married and his wife was the sweetest person that he'd ever met and he dared to not hurt her. He loved her sweetness and when they made love he was sure that it was real and it did not fill him with the horrid thoughts of his past or memories of Voldemort. However the masochist side of him craved for Tara Sinistra.

"That will not happen anymore," he said as he stared at her, however, she pulled her hands away from him.

_Mary had a lamb_

_His eyes as black as coals_

_If we play very quiet, my lamb_

_Mary never has to know_

"Oh, dear sweet lamb, are you trying to be loyal to your new shepherd?" she asked as she stared into his eyes as she walked up to him, staring into the dark polls that were his eyes. She smiled as she could see him tense. She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed her body against his, getting it as close as possible so that there was no space between them. "Don't worry my dear lamb, if we play quietly, your shepherd will never need to know."

_Just once in my life_

_I think it'd be nice_

_Just to lose control- just once_

_If I cut you down to a thing, I can use_

_I fear there will be nothing good left of you_

"No, I cannot," Severus said as if falling out of a trance and pushing her roughly away. She smiled as she stared up at him.

"You are too good Severus Snape," she said as she stared up into his eyes, but she wasn't angry or even upset. She was solemn with a strange smile on her lips. "Should you let me cut you don't to pieces so that you are something that I can use, there would be nothing good left of you, and the good in you is the only thing that brings me on my knees crawling to you," Sinistra said as she stared at him.

She then slowly turned around and walked out of the Great Hall as Severus collapsed on his knees, as if drained of everything that he'd once been. There was something very queer about the fact that she'd given up so easily, but it wasn't long before he realized that it was because she saw it in the stars and she had to only wait but a few days for him to crawl through the dust and reach her in their pit of snakes.

**THE END**

**A/N:** Please leave a review.


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